We have all felt lost at one point or another as a result of heartbreak, a traumatic event, coming back from the jungle, or anything. Although Mama Ayahuasca is an amazing experience that will change your life it is also a very confusing one because guess what? She changed your life! I was not prepared for the fact that when I came back I became a completely different person. My ego, my habits, and my mind had not fully comprehended that the old me was completely gone. Not a little. Not a lot. All. Of. It.
Be patient and give yourself time to absorb to the new you. After coming out of the jungle like a baby who had just be born, or reborn in my case, I was a sponge. I did not give myself the time to discover and soak in the new me. The new me jumped right back into my old life. I was surrounded by strong personalities and I ended up taking on their's instead of finding my own. Before I knew I had lost myself completely. I knew Mama Ayahuasca had healed me in more ways than I could imagine but I couldn't figure out why I felt like I was spinning out of control. It took me 2 years to realize that in the midst of recreating myself I had completely lost myself in other people.
After realizing that I decided to take control and make some decisions. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Integration. Integration. Integration. Do. The. Work. This never stops and this is not something anyone else can do for you. You need to be 100% mindful and aware of yourself. A great asset for integration is Vipassana Meditation. Their free 10 day course after your visit with Mama Ayahuasca is perfect to help you integration. Mama Ayahuasca sets you up with a clean slate to do The Work. Vipassana meditation or any mindful exercise is The Work.
Is losing yourself a bad thing? I will say that had I not lost myself completely I would not feel as grounded as I do now with a strong grasp of who I am. I also am aware of the fact that even this is impermanent. I will eventually feel lost again at some point. But now I know that every frustration, every unbearable challenge is a sign that I am evolving and growing. I've changed so much since my trip to Peru that it completely blows my mind. I can only imagine what more may come. With that the excitement grows. I encourage you to continue to learn and grow as well. <3